Love: It is a yearned and extraordinary experience that is essential to all living things. A feeling that is sought and terribly inescapable. An emotion that is abundantly different from one being to the next, yet uniformly as special. I feel lucky and privileged to have felt love in so many unique ways. The warmth and encouragement I receive from my family and friends is the love that reminds me of how blessed I am. The affection and tenderness between my boyfriend and I are a love, to me, that continues to unearth the meaning of selflessness. The journey of sacrifices and commitments I made to make it to NYU Dentistry has shown me that love is not exclusively for living beings but also for our passions and dreams. From the fondness I have for my sweet birds, Paris & Tokyo, to the comfort of sunbathing in Portugal – love has been an all-encompassing emotion that has made its way to me. Although I completely cherish the bliss in receiving it, giving it in return is what keeps me going.
Giving with my whole heart is an experience that has touched me deeply. The smile and comfort I observe in the recipient of my affection floods me with gratitude. There is a saying in my native language, Tamil, which my mom has often shared, "Punniyama Povum.” Meaning: “it is not only a blessing for them, but for you as well, in two-fold.” From lending physical resources to spiritual or emotional support, giving is an act by which we lose nothing in doing.
This year, loss has taken a toll on every person in this world in distinctive ways, and in this vast sea of struggles, it is up to all of us to see past the hurt and rise up to bring out the best in those whom we love. The anecdotes I include below are some of the forms of love that I have given which have brought me immense internal serenity and joy. I hope that they will inspire you to take the leap of kindness that we are sometimes unprepared to take.
The Bunny Basket
When I was in second grade my friends and I made an Easter bunny basket for our teacher, a loving and beautiful woman who made our school year so enjoyable. As mere 8-year-olds this was our way of expressing appreciation. We took turns taking the basket home after school until it was completed. I glued on cotton pieces to make the bunny fuzzy and soft and I remember feeling nervous and excited the day we finally gifted the basket. Our teacher took the basket with complete adoration, which made me feel warm inside; it was one of the first times that I understood the wholesomeness of the gift of giving and it became a feeling I loved and could not let go of.
The Crossing
I take the train and walk about 20 minutes to get to NYU’s campus. In these brief moments, I admire the beauty of New York; its architecture, diversity, and nature. One day while walking, I observed an elderly woman pushing a great deal of groceries in a flimsy cart. She was slowly trying her best to cross the street before the cars started moving. I hesitated to help her, knowing it would force me to step out of my comfort zone. I ultimately realized that if I did nothing, there was a great possibility the woman would struggle by herself. As I offered to help her, she exhibited such gratitude that in that moment my heart was so full knowing I made her a day just a little easier.
The Rainbow after the Storm
My favorite cousin, Michelle, lives in Toronto. As we grew up, despite only seeing one another only once or twice a year, we became best friends. We would often do our homework together over Skype, sharing about our days and never sparing a single detail. We were one another’s biggest fan and loved one another through everything. Michelle experienced many hardships in life, some that a young person should never have to experience. Nevertheless, she was a fighter and each day pushed to be better than the one before. Several months ago one of her closest friends passed away in a car accident. He was only 29 years old and was a bright soul in her life. Michelle was broken in every way and being in a different country, I felt useless. I sent her messages every day filled with positive affirmations, encouragement, and love to let her know that I was always there for her. Even when she had no words, I continued to encourage her in hope that she would heal. She embraced every word and ounce of love I gave her and kept it in her heart. To this day, Michelle continues to thank me for never giving up on her. Her perseverance reminds me that we gain more from giving – no matter how counterintuitive it may seem.
A New Life
Nadiya was 4 months pregnant when my family met her. She had recently moved to America with her husband and was having a difficult time coping with loneliness. My mom felt a kinship to her having had a difficult pregnancy and postpartum experience herself; she resonated with her distress. The family we lived with during that time had helped my mother in countless ways and so my mom felt the desire to give back to someone in a similar situation. On weekends, when we were free, my mom and I would cook healthy traditional food for Nadiya and spend time with her. She was extremely grateful and felt that we were the closest thing to family that she had here in New York. The comfort she received instilled in me the importance of paying it forward and continuing a chain of good deeds.
Gaping Holes and Blinding Smiles
My first international dental brigade was in Jarabacoa, Dominican, Republic, in a local school where we assisted dentists on procedures for underprivileged students and their families. For most patients, it was the first dental treatment they ever received. Through smiles, hugs and tears, the community there showed us immense gratitude. I remember one boy who came in with holes in his shoes and numerous cavities in his mouth. The most I could do to help the doctors was observe, suction, and clean, but his smile made me feel that I had given him much more than my minute responsibilities. It was the affirmation I received from his gratitude that humbled me and solidified why I chose to pursue dentistry.
Tell me about yourself. When presented with this prompt, I always share that I am a dental student. While this expresses both my professional and academic interests, I think my career should not be what defines me. I would like to be more personal in my description, sharing that my love language is that of giving and that I like to explore different cultures and learn through unique stories. I could include that I truly believe in manifesting my own success and happiness. I could tell them about how much I love the versatility of art and the peace I find in creating. Retrospectively, I recognize that each attribute correlates with the profession of dentistry. We learn considerably through our patients’ experiences and we help them find health, comfort, and happiness just by doing our job. Our procedures and practices are truly a work of art. I am gratified to be able to say that dentistry is not only my profession but also a passion. A vocation that is rewarding and worthwhile, and its core, filled with love.
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