Having the opportunity to live in New York for the last 7 years has taught me more than my younger self could have ever imagined to learn. When I was younger, I didn’t know how lucky I was to hold more than one culture close to my heart. Having a Korean first name and English middle name I always felt confused and finding myself wondering which one I truly identified with. This unspoken confusion brought on a wide range of emotions as well, but eventually led to pure happiness and gratitude. Let me explain:
I remember being at the height of my mother's hip, looking up to her, and not knowing how proud I would be about being an Asian-American years later. I remember participating in roll call in elementary school and feeling so ashamed of my first name, my Korean name, being called out in front of everyone. Every time that there was a substitute, I would note whose name came before mine and quickly interrupt with, "It's Caroline!" In those moments, I didn’t want to let anyone try to pronounce my Korean name because I felt embarrassed that it wasn’t a “normal” name in America.
My Korean name is Yunah (pronounced You-Nah), but I didn’t want to let anyone in back then. It was just “easier,” and I didn’t want to “burden” anyone. However, as you’re reading this, let me hold to you the promise that I stated earlier about that pure happiness and gratitude. Fast forward to my first few years living in Manhattan; I immersed myself into a world without borders. It was a change of pace that was four beats too fast, however, I began to fall in love with this incredible city. I met people from all over the world and I met individuals with beautiful names I had never heard of and did not know how to pronounce. That “burden” I mentioned earlier wasn’t fair to my younger self and I slowly began to realize that. Being here gave me the opportunity to realize that the professors who continuously asked me for the proper pronunciation of my name, were doing so to learn about my culture. I was also given the chance to meet peers who fully embraced my culture and inspired me to do the same. A few months later, I remember calling my parents and asking if we could speak in Korean. I had learned the language when I was younger, but never put it to full use and I wanted to practice it. I could hear my parents’ smile on the phone; you know, when you hear their voice raise a slight octave because their cheeks are meeting their ears. It was that feeling of pure happiness, gratitude, and acceptance – a feeling I wish I could have given to my younger self.
Right after graduation, I got accepted into NYU College of Dentistry and I remember telling this story on the first day of orientation. Maybe it was too bold of me, but, to this day, I am still so proud I did so. What that showed me, and others, was that I wanted to finally let people in. I was proud of who I was becoming, and I had the confidence in myself that no one could take away from me. I wanted to have everyone ask me questions about my background and my culture, so that could lead to conversations where I could learn of others’ cultures as well. Now, in clinic, I am asked if I want the front desk to say, “Student Dentist Caroline” or “Student Dentist Yunah” on the intercom. I love both my first name, Yunah, and my middle name, Caroline, but without hesitation, I told them that I preferred the latter. My Korean name is not “abnormal,” but rather, it is so unique. In fact, my parents always remind me that Yunah means beautiful and strong and as I see my own patients, I hear “Student Dentist Yunah Chun, your patient is here” on the speakers and those around me tell me how much they love my name and I tell them how much I do too.
As we are all combatting hatred and discrimination together, I want this piece to be a reminder that acceptance begins with an open heart. It’s important to ask the right questions, to correct those who think casual racism is okay, and most importantly, to be proud of where you come from. This fight for unity is not over and I will continue to support every culture, every religion, and every belief. We are all human and we have so much to learn from one another – this is who my parents raised my brother and I to be, and I am forever grateful for their guidance.
Finally, with the prevalence Anti-Asian hate crimes, I want to close this piece with resources in ways we can all help make our Asian-American community feel understood, loved, accepted, and supported. It breaks my heart that people are being attacked solely due to their outer appearance, but together, I aspire to educate myself, learn from others, and grow in unity together.
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